Life won’t always be as blissful as it is today and there will be hard days too. The success or failure of your marriage depends on how well you handle your personal issues. And if you and your partner are considering getting married, pre-marriage counselling seems like a perfect idea.
Here are top 7 issues you can expect to discuss in pre-marriage counselling.
1. Relationship Goals
Everyone has their own personal and professional goals. You and your partner can consider what you want for your relationship and how you’re going to get it. The first step toward reaching the target is by making a series of agreement together that establishes your care and protection of the relationship. Set a goal to apologise quickly, offer forgiveness quickly, and reset your kindness goal as soon as possible. Discuss your individual targets and dreams, and how you can make those happen without affecting your relationship. Having goals for your relationship should be a lifelong aim that brings you closer together and sustain your love year after year.
2. Finance Management
Financial conflict can lead to divorce just like any other marital issue. If you are going to live together, both of you will need to pay rent, utility bills and buy furniture together. Not paying proper consideration to the way finance works within your relationship can prove to be destructive. Money affects everything even the smallest daily activity, for instance- what you are going to have for breakfast. Of course, it’s going to affect the two people sharing their lives to a great degree if either partner ignores this crucial aspect. That is why it’s important to pay attention to finance, and to make sure both of you are clear on financial discussions, so it doesn’t sneak up and cause unnecessary irritation.
Marriage and family are the key structures in most societies. How much time do you spend with your family, how much do you expect to spend with them once you are married, any plans to have children, how much time do you expect your partner to spend with them, how much ‘me time’ each partner will have and how much couple time will they have with each other? Discussing some of these key things in marriage and coming up with solutions that you are both OK with will help you address any friction in future.
We can see a lot of couples with sexual problems in their relationship. The only thing you exclusively share with your better-half is sex. So, sex is what sets you and your partner apart from simply being room mates. Both of you also need to be open to hear what the other wants, feels and needs. This is not only an ingredient for great sex but a great marriage as well.
5. Conflict management
Arguments are inevitable but the couples with poor conflict resolution skills engage in fights more often. Pre-marriage counselling can help a couple reduce stress in a number of ways. When a couple becomes engaged, they are looking forward to the future and to a lifetime of happiness. However, during the engagement period, they may face high amount of stress, there may be conflict regarding finances, feelings of anxiety, issues relating to families and in-laws as well as issues arising because of culture and religion. Attending pre-marriage counselling can not only help the couple develop stress management skills, but also help them with the issues they may face as they begin their life together as a married couple.
Time management is one aspect of marriage that many are unprepared for. You can take reference from point 3 in this list for an inclination of how difficult it can be for a couple to manage time between family and work responsibilities. In the counselling session, you can make plans with your partner and talk about individual expectations for the coming weeks, months and years. Discussing your different desires and making a list of goals can help come up with a plan that allows time for each of you to do the things on your wish list.
7. Social Life
Couples often experience tension when it comes to friendships outside of their relationship. Social life dynamics may change after you get married and especially after you have children. So, conflict may arise when one person craves social interaction while the other partner desires alone time. The key to nurturing the social life within your own relationship and outside is to accept and understand each other’s differences.
It is a good idea to seek pre-marriage counselling if you and your partner are ready to get hitched. Tara Counselling Group has been providing pre-marriage counselling for years. Our professional and experienced marriage counsellors care about couples’ happiness and are dedicated to help them achieve a loving, strong and long standing relationship. For more information and queries contact us via email or via phone +61 (0)408 726 544.