CHRISTMAS doesn’t always bring Joy as we might like. It can be a reminder of great loss and pain because of life circumstances. Many people receive bad news at Christmas eg a car accident, a sudden death of family or friends – or maybe a not so sudden loss of a sick family or friend. Its not uncommon to think that you will be able to handle such things especially if there has been a lingering illness which in our own minds we think we have prepared for. Or it might be that you would really like to be with family or friends but are just unable to be with them because they are too far away or you are limited by not being able to drive or be able to afford to travel like you used to. Ageing and disability can catch up with you. When the time comes though suddenly unexpected feeling arise of anger, overwhelming sadness and perhaps even shame. Often feelings come up for you many years later and you tell yourself that its not ok to revisit this as “I should be over it by now… ” and then you start blocking it causing you more anxiety.
There is no right or wrong way to do grief. We are all different and experience it in our own unique way. Perhaps you might have come from a family that gave implicit messages of “don’t cry… get over it… get on with it… etc” and this keeps coming up in your mind. Such messages can be very powerful and somehow we can be loyal to such messages to our own detriment. As Dr Bessel Van der Kolk states in his book “THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE” of our pains and misfortunes. And the good news is that this can be addressed if you truly would like to feel different.
if this is an ongoing issue for you, invest in seeking help and support. I am only to willing to assist you with this. Please call for an appointment – Judi ph 0408726544